So I was thinking about a conversation I had with family members last night and we were talking about 2 different newlyweds and how they each live their married life so different. The one couple is living their newly married life very independent of each other and they each do a lot of things apart. The other couple does practically everything together aside from work.
As I was thinking about this conversation later on, it got me thinking about a statement I heard a few monthes ago and it rang so true in my heart. “Marriage takes a lifetime of becoming One.”
Just because you had a wedding day with gorgeous pictures to prove it and have signed marriage papers…it does not automatically make you “One” in daily life.
“Becoming ‘One’ is a process that takes a lifetime.” It is SO easy to live in the same house and yet be living 2 different lives.
2 people divided
Learning to know someone really does take a lifetime. Humans are so intricate and lets be honest, we are so delicate. (Even though we spend so much energy trying to portray ourselves as tough.)
Trully letting someone “in” and sharing your life takes a lot of work.
Marriage is sharing your life with someone….living in the same house but doing things apart from each other is not sharing your life.
So….I thought I would share ideas of little ways you can “share” yourself with your spouse that truly make a big difference in your relationship.
1. Call or text your spouse during the day Little notes of “how is your day going?” or “thinking of you,” and “I love you” go a LONG way. Sending a wacky picture of ourself (a rated G picture just in case a co-worker is nearby) and including a note of “having a crazy day today” let’s them in on what is going on in your life.
2. Get milk with your spouse OK, that sounds weird but if your spouse has to run up to the store to pick up a couple grocery items, or run to the bank, go with. Spending small experiences together will enrich your relationship. It shows you WANT to be with them. (and if you have a hard time WANTING to be with your spouse, do it as an act of faith)
3. Pinch their butt Say What?!?! I know, I know…that also sounds weird too, but “hear” what I am saying. Flirt with your spouse. When you walk past them in the kitchen, pat their shoulder, lightly brush their hand, or pinch their butt! It shows you are attracted to your spouse.
4. Make decisions TOGETHER. This is a big one. Example, I am the one that pays the bills in our household. This month, our electric was extremely high and the bill was due around the same time our mortgage payment is due. Since I am the one who pays the bills, I could’ve just decided myself how to conquer these huge bills but I decided to include my husband in on it and we decided together on how we were going to pay both bills. The point, we made the decision together. Remember, we signed papers to become “one” so it is good to practice making decisions together as a couple. You may make some wrong decisions but at least you made the decision TOGETHER.
5. KEEP DATING EACH OTHER I think we tend to hear this one quite a but but that’s because its an important one. Even if all you have time for or can afford to do is get a cup of coffee and sit at the coffee shop for 30 minutes together….do it! Dates do not have to be exotic. The point is…you are TOGETHER. You are CONNECTING to each other. You are making your relationship a priority.
I was going to stop there but another one that I think is worth mentioning is…
6. Celebrate your anniversary. Going away for the weekend (away from the kids is ideal) but if all you can do is go for a nice dinner, do it! Show your spouse, show your kids, show the world that your marriage is worth celebrating!
After all, another year of marriage is a BIG deal!
What are some other ways you have incorporated “becoming One” in your marriage?
Also, let me know if you have any thoughts or questions!
Blessings,
CharMomma